Today, I will attend a philosophy Meetup to discuss the topic of "love", and I decided to write a bit about it, based on the initial thoughts that came into my mind before the event.
When you fall in love, your brain, aka your organic highly-efficient quantum computer, and body undergo a series of complex reactions involving various neurotransmitters and hormones. These chemicals play a crucial role in shaping your emotions and behaviors, leading to the intense feelings associated with love.
How does our brain work?
The brain is a complex organ that controls our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Do we know how it works? Definitely not, but we have a general idea of how it works, but there are still many mysteries to be solved. Scientifically brain is usually researched by dividing it into different parts, and either attaching electrodes to the skull or using MRI to see which part of the brain is active during different activities.
The brain is divided into two hemispheres, the left and the right, and so far, we think each is responsible for different functions. The left hemisphere is usually associated with logic, reasoning, and analytical thinking, while the right hemisphere is linked to creativity, intuition, and emotional processing. The brain is also divided into different lobes, each responsible for specific functions. For example, the frontal lobe controls decision-making and social behavior, while the occipital lobe processes visual information.
The brain is made up of billions of neurons, or nerve cells, that communicate with each other through electrical and chemical signals. These signals form complex neural networks that underlie our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It acts like a supercomputer tha processes information and stores it in the form of chemical effect on the neurons.
There are things in brain that we are not sure about. For example, do we have a complete separation between consciousness and subconsciousness? Or are they intertwined? Why do we sleep, and why do we dream? Does the brain use the sleep time to process the information and store it in the long-term memory? How about our genetics? Do we inherit our brain functions from our parents? What about our memories? Will they end up in our genetics and passed to the next generation's subconsciousness? These are some of the things we have some guesses about, but our knowledge is not yet complete enough to answer for sure.
I think, cortex acts like a "reinforcement learning" layer, and then, when we sleep, the brain moves the information to the underlying layers or just "fine-tunes" all these base models (or one as a whole, who knows) that we have in our bran!
Is that why for example different countries have different "cultures"? Is this the information and learnings passed from our ancestors? Is this why some older cultures are more caring and loving, while the newer ones in the West are more self-centric, individualistic, and even selfish? Is there some kind of information hidden/stored in the genetics of Iranians, Chinese and those older societies?
So far we cannot say for sure, either to confirm or deny these theories, but it is interesting to think about it.
Neurotransmitters and Hormones Involved
Dopamine (Pleasure & Reward):
This neurotransmitter stimulates the brain's reward pathways, increasing motivation and leading to obsessive thoughts and behaviors aimed at pursuing the love interest.
Noradrenaline (Norepinephrine):
Elevated levels of noradrenaline cause feelings of euphoria and physiological responses such as a faster heart rate, "butterflies" in the stomach, and increased energy.
Endorphins (Happiness & Comfort):
Released in long-term relationships, creating feelings of security, comfort, and deep emotional connection.
Oxytocin (Bonding & Attachment):
Often referred to as the "love hormone," oxytocin is released during physical touch, such as hugging, kissing, and sexual activity. It promotes bonding, trust, and a sense of attachment between partners.
Serotonin (Mood & Obsession):
In the early stages of love, serotonin levels can decrease, leading to obsessive thinking about the partner. This drop is similar to patterns observed in individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Cortisol (Stress Response):
Initial stages of love can increase cortisol levels, contributing to feelings of excitement and nervousness.
Adrenaline & Norepinephrine (Excitement & Arousal):
Responsible for the racing heart, sweaty palms, and butterflies in your stomach when you see or think about your loved one.
Vasopressin (Commitment & Loyalty):
Plays a key role in long-term attachment and monogamy. More active in men than women, linked to protective and committed behaviors.
Brain Regions Involved
Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA):
Is located in the midbrain controls diverse behavioral repertoire, including reward processing, aversion, stress modulation, drug addiction, learning, and memory. This region is activated during feelings of romantic love, releasing dopamine and creating a sense of pleasure and reward.
Hippocampus:
Your hippocampus is a small part of your brain with a big job; it helps with your learning and memory. It converts short-term memories into long-term memories by organizing, storing and retrieving memories within your brain. Involved in memory formation, the hippocampus helps in creating and recalling memories associated with the loved one.
Caudate Nucleus:
Functions not only in planning the execution of movement, but also in learning, memory, reward, motivation, emotion, and romantic interaction. It is associated with reward detection and expectation, the Caudate nucleus plays a role in the feelings of obsession and craving often experienced in early love.
Nucleus Accumbens:
Is considered as the neural interface between motivation and action, playing a key role on feeding, sexual, reward, stress-related, drug self-administration behaviors, etc.
Amygdala:
It's a major processing center for emotions, including excitement and attachment. It also links your emotions to many other brain abilities, especially memories, learning and your senses.
Prefrontal Cortex:
It is known to be the higher-order association center of the brain as it is responsible for decision-making, reasoning, personality expression, maintaining social appropriateness, and other complex cognitive behaviors, such as long-term commitment.
Common Phases of Love
Lust:
Driven by the desire for sexual gratification, this phase is influenced by hormones such as testosterone and estrogen.
Attraction:
Characterized by increased dopamine and noradrenaline levels, leading to feelings of exhilaration and intrusive thinking about the partner.
Attachment:
Involves long-term bonding, with hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin playing key roles in promoting a sense of security and commitment.
Is it all just chemical reactions? Or ...
We, humans, can speak. Many animals might also be able to speak, without us knowing it. But, we don't just speak, our creative brain can create poems and song lyrics. We have learned to make art out of our spoken languages. We can also paint or make sculptures from simple things like rocks, wood, etc.
Is it all just materialistic? Definitely not! Art is what our brain has generated with our so-called creativity (our organic GenAI!). So, I guess love is our physical reactions intertwined with our creativity. That's why throughout history, our love has become a kind of art, especially in the Eastern older societies. That's probably why still, in the newer Western societies, like the Nordics or Germany, the concept of love is not developed enough yet and is still mostly seen as a tool for fun, sex, and reproduction.
If you think about it a bit further, you realize that most birds also sing and kinda play music with their voices. They create art to impress their partners. Most animals mourn for their losses, and some even sacrifice themselves for their partners or kids. If these are the signs of what we call "love", then they should also fall in love, right? So, it should be a broader concept than what some of us think that it uniquely belongs to humans.
Cultural differences
Love is a universal experience, yet it is understood and expressed differently across cultures. In some societies, romantic love is the foundation of marriage, while in others, arranged marriages prioritize familial and social stability over emotional connection.
The concept of love is also influenced by cultural norms, religious beliefs, and social expectations. For example, some cultures emphasize the importance of selfless love and sacrifice, while others prioritize individual happiness and fulfillment.
In some cultures, especially in the continent of Asia, countries like China and Iran, friendship and platonic Love are valued as much as romantic love, with strong emotional bonds forming the basis of social relationships. For example, Molana, an Iranian poet, and philosopher, is known to have composed his poems to his spiritual guide, Shams Tabrizi, who illuminated his path to enlightenment.
Across cultures, the unconditional parental love is recognized as one of the strongest forms of love, often associated with self-sacrifice and protection. However, expressions of parental love differ. Some societies prioritize verbal affirmations, while others only focus on actions and responsibilities.
Dreams and the Subconscious
Dreams have long been associated with our deepest emotions and desires. Love, being one of the strongest human emotions, often manifests in dreams, providing insight into subconscious thoughts and hidden feelings. Many people experience dreams about their partners, past relationships, or even potential love interests. These dreams can reflect unspoken desires, unresolved conflicts, or deep-seated fears about love and connection. Dreams offer a window into how our subconscious mind processes love, loss, and attachment, revealing aspects of our relationships that we might not consciously acknowledge.
Some theories suggest that dreams strengthen emotional bonds. For example, if a person dreams about their partner frequently, it may reinforce attachment and emotional closeness in waking life.
Dreaming is also not just limited to nighttime, but also daydreaming, which is a form of consciousness that involves fantasizing our expectations and hopes. This can either encourage us to pursue our goals or lead to "reaching the pleasure our brain wanted" without actually doing anything.
Universal and Personal Perspectives
Love is both a universal phenomenon and an intensely personal experience. While cultures define how love is expressed, individual experiences shape how it is felt and understood.
Despite cultural differences, the fundamental aspects of love—attachment, passion, and commitment—are present worldwide. The biological processes governing love, such as dopamine-driven attraction and oxytocin-based bonding, are shared by all humans.
Every individual experiences love differently based on personality, past experiences, and personal beliefs. Some people may prioritize emotional connection, while others value physical closeness or intellectual compatibility.
Love is not static—it evolves over time. The passion of early romance may transform into deep companionship, and friendships may blossom into love. Personal growth and life experiences continuously reshape how people perceive and express love.
Updates: after the event
In some cultures, for example Persians, people more easily use the word "love" and express their feelings, while in some other cultures, like Danes, they are more individualistic and avoid verbally expressing their positive feelings. Modern Danes, instead, see the world as a place to work and contribute to the society, so then they can enjoy the result the afterlife!
I also learned that Philippines say "Mahal kita" to express their love; Where, “Kita” is a dual person pronoun meaning "I" and "You" at the same time, so "Mahal kita" means "I love you" and "You love me" at the same time!
I also learned, in traditional regions like Sicily, love is more of a survival/trade agreement between man and woman. A woman can mate with whoever she wants, but then in that scenario she cannot for sure know who will be her child's father, and so she cannot expect anything in return. In that case, she chooses only one man, to provide food and protect the child and family. In return, she will bring loyalty into the table, and with that she will expect the man to only be with her and dedicate himself for her children.
